Sibling rivalry : How to tackle?
Sibling rivalry how to tackle
As a parent, you also become a referee to your two or more children. You literally survive ability battle, personality wars, attention gaining tactics and several small battles only to suggest that sibling rivalry is an inevitable annoyance of having two or more kids. Well, sibling rivalry to some extent is bearable but it does have its own long term pros and cons on the life of your child. Thus, here are some of the avoidable tactics which you should do to get rid of sibling rivalry:
- Make friends before the new child comes
Make your older baby familiar with the new baby before his/ her birth. Show her the growing pictures in mom’s belly. Let her pat the tummy and talk to the baby. Sit down and talk to your child about his/her own birth and go through the photo album. Show her what she looked like right after her birth and how did you nurse her. When you replay the events of your older child, she will be prepared to follow the similar pattern with her brother and sister and no jealousy will ever spring up.
- Make the elder sibling realize importance
Savvy visitors who have undergone sibling rivalry themselves bring along a gift for the elder baby when paying a visit to the new baby. However, if any guest makes the elder sibling feel unwanted, make sure you keep some gifts in reserve and give the older sib to give them equal attention and love. Let the older sib unwrap the gifts. Give them the job to administer and organize the gifts. Make them feel important by giving a job title like “Mommy’s favorite helper”. Let them nurse the baby as it will increase love between them.
- Share time equally
Basically, one thing which bothers children is sharing their parents with the new child. Sometimes the idea of sharing is unknown to the child and they may consider their mom as their personal possession. Thus, it is unlikely that they will ready to share you with another child. It may sound good in theory but you cannot give equal time to both your kids. Often new babies need maximum time of yours. Right from feeding to changing their diapers and bedding, you need to do everything with them. However, you should learn to allot time.
What you can do is read the favorite book of your older child while feeding the younger one. Spend a lot of time on the floor so that you can keep an eye on your toddler while your baby is in your arms. As your baby starts growing, keep him on the infant seat to watch the older one play. Make sure both the elder and younger sibling enjoy each other’s company.
- Be positive
Try to promote sibling love and harmony. Your older child may initially not like the idea of a live-in friend but children often get preoccupied. They may not like to share their room or toy and parents with someone else. Make sure you handle the ego of your child normally. If the mom fails to provide sufficient attention to the child, make sure dad fills the place.
Arrange several outings for the older kid like going to the ice cream parlor or visiting the park. Make your kid realize his importance daily in some or the other way.
- Make your kids sensitive
Make sure you nurture the kids with ideologies of lifelong friendship. Make them understand and help one another. Inculcate constructive thinking in your child’s mind and make them responsible for one another. Learning to live happily with your sibs is the first lesson that every parent should teach their child about. Try to raise the compatibility bar between your children. Shape their relationship in the perfect way.
Give the kids their own space where they can spend their time alone with their toys and books. Do not scold one child for doing wrong to another. It creates differences. The battle of brothers and sisters is normal in a family. And you literally cannot wipe out sibling rivalry. Just try to make it constructive and manageable. If you want, you can consult a psychologist. As a parent you have to live several roles like teacher, friend, referee and coach. Make sure you are in constant touch with your child and never leave them on their own.